Last Minute Prep

I have become much more of an auteur filmmaker than intended, fulfilling many of the tasks traditionally completed by the executive producer in the frantic preparation for Friday's filming.  I ran to thrift stores and different houses gathering props and set design materials, was moving furniture and designing sets, had training on HD camera, rented lights and equipment, and scribbled storyboards between class and sleep...

Film

I decided last minute that I would abandon responsibility and instead accompany Andrew and Tristan up to the Cleveland International Film Festival.  We left at 10 a.m. in the midst of rain and a tornado drill and arrived at the Twin Cinema with a crowd that stressed me out.  But the stress was shortlived as I saw Sparrow, Achilles and the Tortoise, and 8 Independent shorts (the best of which were Pig, Derailed, Retouches, and Out There).  The car ride home was full of stimulating discussion, and I was renewed with vigor for my current film endeavor.

a bloody revolution against our tyrants

After class, I prepared some notes for the gender panel, drew many storyboards, met with my costume designer, emailed alumni, went to EC to get permission for filming at FCC, talked with Mrs. Moody, took a nap, and then! fulfilled my role on campus as token(?) feminist.

We had great discussion, which did not end as soon as the panel did.  Wonderful conversation with Dr. Chambers, Isaac, the suities, and then later, more debriefing with Andrew.

Ah, for once! I experienced the thrill of defending my view against, at least mild, opposition. 

A Series of Projects to be Completed

1) Chemistry quiz (I can only hope to have a 50%, and even that is iffy, since half of the questions were multiple choice, and the other half short answer that I didn't have a clue about.)

2) History Midterm (an all essay exam, 5 questions in 50 minutes.  I filled the blue book to its entirety).

3) Chemistry Lab (experiments with acid, followed by 9 menial questions that I typed early, so that I can focus on filming this weekend)

4) Panic Meeting with Andrew (about film fest stuff.  his confidence in me must falter as he continues to have to profess it...)

5) Sociology paper (2 1/2 hour class, complete with a visit from a representative for the Girl Scouts of America)

Never being prepared for the tasks that are staring you in the eye means that you can never hope to again regain stable footing in the workload that engulfs you. 

Not so much wading, today, as failing to stay afloat.

I think my mom calls them "black letter days"

I went to AKRC, desperate for some sense of peace.  I secluded myself as much as I could on a college campus, privately indulging the sobs that wracked me.

Not again...

I woke under some plague.  I went to see Duplicity with Stephen, Chris, and Meredith, but was in a foul mood and bitter that I spent the afternoon watching such a bad flick.  Met with Scott, which was inspiring and affirming, but the sudden pressure of all the impossible tasks that need to be finished was overwhelming and debilitating. 

My Fridays Are Exciting

After an exhausting morning, I turned in my paper and then went to get my hair done as a reward.  Took a nap, played board games in Victoria's room, and then went to bed early.

still writing papers

I knew that it was going to be a long night, and even though I tried to be pro-active in paper-writing, it was inevitable that I stayed up way past bed time trying to be insightful and reflective.  Still enjoyed silly, late night hysteria with Connie and Deshanna.

The looking glass self

Sometimes affirmation actually adds more pressure to live up to the expectations and belief that other people have in you.  Spend the afternoon writing a paper, and in the evening I read Candide for history.

home again

thrown back into class and work and film and such.  was generally ineffective because the sleep schedule is all out of whack.

hello, ohio.

spent all day at the airport.  overwhelming sense of relief to be back home in ohio.

Finals and Awards

We had tons of great news--I broke in POI and Faith Lit, Phill broke in extemp and impromptu, Will broke in prose, and Andy broke in novice prose and POI.  Again we had some time to swim, nap, relax before the first round of finals at 2, and the entire experience was enhanced by the presence of Dan Walton and Annaliese. 

The break down of awards:
Andy--6th in novice prose; 1st in novice POI
Will--6th in open prose
Phill--4th in open extemp; semi-finalist for open impromptu
Alyssa--5th in open POI; 1st in open faith lit

There was immediate joy and amazement, but it was quickly cheapened by unexpected (yet unsurprising) reactions from a few members of the group.

Still, I've made the first varsity first-place victory for Malone at the National tournament.  It feels both fulfilling and strangely inhibiting. 

The longest of the three

Got up super early to make it to the tournament in time for the first round at 8, and the early morning panic was heightened by my inability to locate my black book.  Running, panting, frantically searching led to tardiness for the first round but thankfully, the book was found and i was able to compete.  The day stretched long, but I was glad to still be qualified.

Day 1, Rounds 1 Pattern A and B

We got to be lazy for the first part of the day, swimming and practicing and moseying to the tournament.  We started at 2, first prose run was rough (nerves got the best of me in front of Greenawalt), but first faith lit went well, as did the CA, POI, and duo.  Some mild drama erupted as the team went for dinner at Marie Callendar's, which was discouraging for the first day of the tournament, but it began to settle down once we were back at the hotel--and actually developed into a strange, poetic bonding between the "fab 4" which offered us closure, and contentment in our separate but still inter-influenced lives.

Paramount Pictures

It's always great to have nationals out in LA where there are tons of Malone alumni, because then the team gets to do awesomely fun things like take a free two-hour tour of Paramount Pictures.  Jake Thomas showed us around sound stages, sets, and even brought us to where they were filming an episode of Nip/Tuck. 

It felt amazing to actually be standing where they filmed The Graduate, Citizen Kane, Vertigo, Rear Window, It Happened One Night, Happy Days, Benjamin Button, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Monk, ...

We went to Santa Monica pier, ate cake at Gladstone's, saw part of America's Next Top Model being filmed...

For a second, I questioned whether I had made the right decision to study at Oxford instead of LAFSC.

But I think I'm content to keep my wonder and amazement of Hollywood, which would surely fade if I actually lived here.

in LA

Got up at 6 am in order to leave by 7 and get to the airport in time for our 11 o'clock flight to Vegas (where there were slot machines IN THE AIRPORT!).  After a looooooong, awful flight, and then a short empty flight, we found ourselves outside John Wayne airport with the team.  We had dinner at this elephant restaurant thing, and then practiced the night away.

the last day

Justin, Mallory, Scott and spent the day together--working on some homework at the drip, hanging out on the porch, and then taking a drive to Chimney Rock in the mountains.  We ate at a little bbq place, and then walked by the river (Justin falls in, Scott leaps majestically, I take the bridge), and eventually went home, where Mallory made me perform my pieces for everyone.  It was Jessica's birthday, so a bunch of people came over, but mallory and i crashed early in order to prep for our early morning...

when you know you shouldn't get attached, but yet...

The good news: i spent most of the day with Scott Tyler.

The bad news: we spent most of our time looking for Mr. Tumnus, who ran away. 

an average day in asheville

spent the day with justin, figuring out my new faith lit on sermons, getting too attached to Mr. Tumnus, and reading for history.  in the evening we had a high tea celebration for my acceptance to oxford, having tea and "crumpets" and dressing in our bestest english clothes (i was princess "die"...).

reunions

woke late for breakfast with dad, and then spent the day doing last minute packing before flying to NC to visit with Mallory.  She picked me up at the Charlotte airport with a dog named Mr. Tumnus.  We thought it was providence that he should appear the day I was flying down, so soon after Cadie.  we played with him at the boy's house, then baked cookies and went to bed.

spring break is here.

the day stretched long as everyone teetered on the edge of spring break.  after class and meetings and last minute prep for auditions, i waited in the memorial chapel with four pizzas and no turn out.  packed up everything, and then collapsed at home.

under the crabapple tree

was free
in a "free-to-do-work" kind of way.
so i sat in my cubby,
and i wrote about interns,
and i resented my mother when
the caller ID showed her name.

she sounded panicked, and explained
that Cadie was breathing heavy, and had
peed on the floor after failing to walk straight.
she didn't know what was wrong,
and i didn't care, but I wanted
it all to be gone.

when i hung up the phone,
i felt regret and remorse,
and knew that something was inherently
wrong with my character.

Cadie had SSA,
i ran away,
and sobbed my way
through the rest of the day
wishing it were the may
when my dog first came home.

but i hate being sad
and i have to return to the everyday
workings of college and responsibility
but it's hard when everyone offers
consolation
compassion
sympathy
and especially hard when
at home where the habit is disrupted
and her bed is empty
and her toys are statues

but she rests now
facing the east
protecting the house
with her little green teddy
under the crabapple tree.

my own awakening

just went through the day, looking forward all day to Spring Awakening.

Strange how sharing a viewing experience can bring such a sense of connection, build a memory, cultivate similar emotional responses, incite dialogue, make or break friendships...

spring and summer
every other day

busy

I was generally frustrated all day, having almost every hour of my day pre-committed.  Class, weigh in, audition with ashley white, home to send out ebay packages, photo shoot with tyler, reelate meeting, amy to soccer practice, production meeting, and *then* homework.

Except both ashley and tyler canceled, which freed two hours of time where I was completely useless because of the limited availability for productivity. 

Though I did feel re-inspired after being assigned my story mentor and feeling support and excitement from others in the reelate project.

Up late again gluing tyler down on matte board.

start to a long week

classes were packed tightly together, met with andrew briefly after lab to try and figure out oxford stuff (which was unhelpful and frustrating and infuriating).  after sociology, i tried to piece together my tyler project, but then put away after planning a new photo shoot with tyler for the cool dichotomy photo i wanted.  stayed up ridiculously late reading and grading blogs for MMS midterm grades.

a rather lazy sunday

though i wanted to go to church, it seemed like a better idea to catch up on sleep before the busy week before spring break.  did a variety of things, probably went to muggs, showed my spiritual film to the hamilton's, watched changeling with the suite while cutting out pictures of tyler for our digital photography project.

BGSU

ran pieces, competed, won 4th in POI, dinner at some fancy bistro, home late at night.  wondered why the hell i think this is a good idea.

this is what i do

copied le film, showed dr. chambers, ran to the doctor's office, packed and headed to BGSU for the Clue theme-ed forensics tournament.  Listened to myself give a speech on mickey martyr's embodiment of the ideograph hours.

it is finished

MMS Hollywood simulation inspired me to dive into my film endeavors, sending out tons of casting call notices and then spending hours doing audio work for the spiritual autobiography. 

Enough hours to finish it.  A strange wave of satisfaction coupled with vulnerability washed over me as I shared this five month endeavor with those who influenced its development.

doing lots of things at once

I was up early studying for my chemistry midterm, and then spent most of the day in meetings and finally down in the editing suite doing voice over work for my spiritual autobiography.  After suite dinner and more editing, I met with Will for duo work in prep for BGSU this weekend--an inconvenient trip that means prepping four pieces instead of just one from Geneva last weekend...