Easter break looms on the horizon, so I'm desperate to finish the day and start a few days rest. The freedom I felt when classes ended was cut short during my thesis meeting, as Andrew reminded me of many things that still need to be finished in the next month. Wanting to meet the huge standard I've come to think others' expect of me, I was immobilized by the sheer magnitude of what I have to accomplish in order to fulfill it. I threw out words of frustration quickly and irrationally, and his calm, even response and even *gratitude* for screaming these thoughts was all the more unnerving.
In moments like this, I'm even more sure that my assessment of them (those all-knowing professors in the comm department), that they are intuitive and calculative and always applying theory to petty students, is so right. I can't tell you how many times Andrew or Marcia has pointed out to me some deeper issue within myself that is probably spot on and that they've known forever and I feel violated that they know more about me than I do.
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