when risks are good

felt generally successful even in the midst of not-getting-much-done-ness. took some risks that i think will be good in the long run as examples for applied learning (deciding on a theory about ideographs for Falafel, making an 8x10 print of a not-awesome picture, but then food-coloring the negative space to create a nice composition, practicing for oral presentation tomorrow that isn't necessarily in my comfort zone...).

Days when I'm tired of hearing the same thing

On the Monday, when i'm acutely aware of both the amount of tasks and the effort that they'll take to accomplish, I spent the first part of the day in an angry flurry, lashing out at anyone around. My favorite class did little to relieve the tension, but instead escalated my frustration through my fear and lack of preparation for the test on Wednesday. Auditions for 10-Minute-Play festival were successful, not what I expected, though lifted my mood by virtue of being full of life-giving, passionate students generally interested and invested in theatre. Switched roles of student/coach to listen to Ann's program for Joy's retirement, and thought for a second about the overarching path I'm walking, as opposed to the demands of the day. Was struck by the "magic" of the moment in such a familiar/mundane setting and wondered why I had never noticed it before. Realized that when I interact with people everyday, instead of talking, I simply relay my latest list of burdens and stress. I can't imagine what they're thinking, because frankly, I'm sick of hearing about it myself.

on sundays

Worked all day in The Kiosk, where I was bombarded by hoards of angry elderly insisting that their 25-year-old Seiko watches MUST work with the new battery because they've been so reliable for the past twenty-five years!, even though that's exactly the reason why they're not working now. Spent the evening inventing new ways of a) avoiding homework and b) engaging in self-pity (something I definitely DON'T have time for).

the opposite of two-sentences

I woke in the morning to my mother calling and asking for a ride to the Malone alumni lunch-in-the-quad event, because apparently Russ had asked her questions too early in the morning and she just agreed to let him take the jeep for the day. So I roused myself from my one-and-only-catch-up-on-sleep-day and trekked out to EC to fetch my mom.

We stopped in at Muggs (where I saw my ex-with-a-wife once again, this time with a molestache!) and bought coffees to go. Navigated Mom to the quad where she picked up her gifts (a hoard of MU merch (surprise, grumble grumble) YET surprisingly a free College blanket, which now adorns my bed) and we ate. Overall, we weren't at the event any longer than twenty minutes.

We stopped briefly into the dorm before heading back home--halfway there I realized that I had left my black and white film at school that I absolutely NEEDED for my new photography assingment/project because I was planning on taking pictures around the house. Drove BACK to Malone after about an hour of waiting for Russ to show up with the jeep (he never did; I just wasted more of my gas), and then BACK to my house for pictures.

and then I drove back to Malone once again for the homecoming dance that I wasn't really excited about anyways. I stayed for an hour, then left to go watched Spaced with a friend and his friend. Had a beer, drove to Taco Bell, and on the way back, hit a deer. I mean, the deer hit me, because that's how you phrase it for insurance purposes. Waited for the sheriff to arrive, and when he did I was asked to sit in the back of the cruiser to write out my statement. Overall, was happy he didn't administer a breathilizer test.

Left friend's house a little bitter and confused about the relationship, but instead of going to bed like i should've because I had to work Sunday morning, i visited another friend who works midnights at Speedway. Crawled into bed around 5 am.

On days like this, when life seems so distinct and separated by the events of the day, I feel obliged to document them all.

run, run, run

seems to be the most common definition of my days. life stories, convocation chapel (really? a flag, doves, strategic lighting of the emblem, "the hope of the world"?!), directing, history and theory of film, comm work, dinner, laramie project, spats and cane, finally back to the room for some late night homework. The Laramie Project was surprisingly moving. I was struck time and again by the genuineness of each character and my willingness to believe them. Got me thinking a lot about storytelling, the different forms that are more/less effective for certain stories, and the ones I should be sharing.

not much substance

working at belden took up most of my day with the dreaded 8 hour afternoon shift that sucks my life away. Went to muggs with some old friends, where I attempted to navigate that unfamiliar territory of old and new identities colliding. Finished "Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl" by Harriot Jacobs for Life Stories. Thought about what I would have been like at that time--polar fears of absolute paralysis as a slave versus domineering slaveholder. Ever wonder if you would be that person you want to be? maybe someone should make a movie where the protagonist is continually forced to acknowledge what they would be, or who they are, as opposed to their glorified constructions. maybe it's simply an idea i should digest more.

I've never been very good.

felt like i had an eternity in the morning without chapel or immediate demands for my classes. in the afternoon, all the time i thought i had to devote to various projects was slowly ripped away as I was forced to recognize other commitments. Realized that I am really bad at flirting, which gave me something to think about through the afternoon that I spent in the photo lab, attempting to make worthwhile prints, but ultimately wasted most of my time confused. Finished one of the three prints I need done by Tuesday. Went reluctantly to ME-TV, though taping was short, sweet, and to-the-point. The production meeting that followed was overall encouraging, giving me renewed fervor for the program: a feeling I haven't felt since freshman year. Watched Stagecoach with two members from my HATOF class, took notes, but didn't have as many insightful observations as I did on the last film. Was up late doing work for Friday to try and free up time for planning weekend projects so that next week won't be hell. I've never been very good at planning ahead.