the days swirl

worked open to close, then went to our company Christmas dinner for gossip and heartfelt conversation. cuddled with mom, read a book, watched movies, crawled into bed. Specifics escape my mind as my days blur together into an indecipherable swirl.

gently navigating the past while still tying to construct the present

Melanee and I fulfilled our duty as the EC fag-hags and had lunch with our corresponding counterparts--Zach and Tyler.  I came home and cleaned all night--sorted through past eras first physically, then emotionally as Alyssa and I failed to connect with a previously close friend.

end of semester blues

started this morning aware that i had not accomplished nearly as much as i should have for the rest of the week to be as restful as i would like, but was determined not to feel bad in light of the opportunity to spend time with friends.  classes were normal, although a comment made during directing sent me into rage that overshadowed the rest of the day.  dinner with mike yankoski (author of "Under the Overpass") was just what i expected (again, i fulfilled my role of "that girl who talks a lot", though i think it helped us as a group get away from that awkward, "no one knows what to say because we're strangers and you're here for this one purpose of talking about your book, which is kinda professional, but we want to connect too, which is kinda personal, so why is this so forced" conversation), then off to forensics late where the pressure was just added on, then MeTV script writing, then mini-breakdown in front of the suities.  oh, the end of the semester drag...

Days when I'm tired of hearing the same thing

On the Monday, when i'm acutely aware of both the amount of tasks and the effort that they'll take to accomplish, I spent the first part of the day in an angry flurry, lashing out at anyone around. My favorite class did little to relieve the tension, but instead escalated my frustration through my fear and lack of preparation for the test on Wednesday. Auditions for 10-Minute-Play festival were successful, not what I expected, though lifted my mood by virtue of being full of life-giving, passionate students generally interested and invested in theatre. Switched roles of student/coach to listen to Ann's program for Joy's retirement, and thought for a second about the overarching path I'm walking, as opposed to the demands of the day. Was struck by the "magic" of the moment in such a familiar/mundane setting and wondered why I had never noticed it before. Realized that when I interact with people everyday, instead of talking, I simply relay my latest list of burdens and stress. I can't imagine what they're thinking, because frankly, I'm sick of hearing about it myself.